by Nelson
Reader Beware; You’re in for a Scare!
Join us as DoubtFire ventures into the terrifying world of zombies, werewolves, egg monsters, and annoying siblings that is GOOSEBUMPS.
Goosebumps #3 – Monster Blood
The third Goosebumps book kicks off the series’ Monster Blood saga – four books all focusing on Evan Ross’ bizarre adventures with an evil slime that creates all sorts of fun shenanigans. The story kicks off with Evan’s parents dropping him and Trigger, the family dog, off at his deaf great aunt’s house. Evan has never met this relative before and is only staying with her because his parents don’t have any other options, and they’re really, really keen to ditch their son and the dog while they go “look for a house” in Atlanta. You gotta love R.L. Stine for embedding some amazing parenting strategies in his pre-teen horror books. Great Aunt Kathryn is the world’s best baby sitter, too. She’s got an ill-tempered cat named Sarabeth, and, not only is she deaf, but she’s adamantly refused to learn sign language or lip reading. This makes me wonder how this babysitting arrangement was set up in the first place, but that’s an example of me thinking too many adult thoughts while reading one of these books. Still though, this kid has been sent to live with an adult he can’t even communicate with. What’s worse is that Great Aunt Kathryn never, ever, ever shuts up. She asks questions that she can’t hear the answers to and argues with her cat.
It’s Goosebumps, so we’ve got to have a boy/girl tandem as our lead characters. Evan immediately goes on a walk and meets Andrea but call her Andy because that’s what she prefers. He also encounters the Beymer Twins, the local bullies who promptly shove Andy down and ride off on her bicycle. Later, they give Evan a full-on beat down the second he steps outside because the Beymers don’t play around
Evan and Andy hit up a local thrift store where they find the plastic canister of Monster Blood. Things escalate pretty quickly from there. The green slime glows in the dark and keeps growing. Eventually, it has to be stored in a bathtub. To make matters worse, Trigger eats some and grows into a giant pony sized, bully chasing cocker spaniel. While the steadily growing dog situation is certainly an issue, the two kids don’t have much of a chance to address it because their off-brand GAK has grown to monstrous proportions, and it’s crawling through town sucking up kids and bicycles and whatever else comes in its path – including the Bullying Beymers.
Although it’s unique in the fact that it’s written in third person (as was every Monster Blood book, oddly enough), this story contains a lot of elements that will become series staples. Parents dropping off their kids at mysterious places, relentless bullies willing to beat the hell out of the main characters, and totally abrupt endings that have a tendency to come out of nowhere. Monster Blood races to its conclusion at a rapid fire pace. The monstrous slime pursues Evan and Andy to Kathryn’s house, and it’s revealed that the loving great aunt has used a magical spell to turn an ordinary kids’ toy into an odious ooze at the behest of Sarabeth the Cat, who is actually a witch that’s enslaved Kathryn and rendered her deaf. She turns from cat to human and tells everyone they’re going to die before a giant Trigger shows up and pushes her into the enormous green blob – which immediately shrinks down to ordinary size along with Trigger. The twin terrors wind up on the floor covered in goo and go running from the house in terror. Great Aunt Kathryn even regains her hearing! Then Evan’s parents show up, and the books ends. This all goes down in the span of about five pages. Credit where it’s due, though, Stine at least foreshadows the ending twist a little bit with an early focus on what an annoying and mean cat Sarabeth is.
While reading up on Monster Blood, I came across an interesting piece of trivia. In the Dutch version, the Bullying Beymers are fully digested by the ungodly gunk and never return. You have to admire the Dutch for giving bullies some real consequences.
Quote from the Book: Both brothers cried out, flailing their arms, struggling to pull themselves free. “Help us! Please—help us!”
Their bodies twisted and writhed as they struggled. But they were stuck tight. The green gunk oozed over them, covering them completely. Then it pulled them inside with a loud sucking pop.
Doubtfire 